I Wish
by SimpleLoss12
Summary: Songfic - I Wish Antonio and Lovino have been friends forever, but suddenly, Antonio feels like he's being replaced and there's something else that he's trying to figure out.


**Disclaimer:** I don't own Hetalia

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Where was Lovino? I sat at our usual table at the local coffee shop that we always met at after school. I looked down at my watch then looked up through the windows to see if I could see him. He should have been here by now.

"I hope he's alright," I said quietly. I took a deep breath and then took a sip of my coffee. Maybe he was just stuck in traffic or something, I thought, trying to reassure myself. Yeah, that was it. He'd be here soon, I just had to wait a little longer.

"Hey Antonio," I heard a familiar voice behind me. I turned around, knowing that it was Lovino behind me.

"_Hola_!" I said happily. When I turned around I smiled at Lovino but my smile slightly faltered when I saw Amelia, Lovino's new girlfriend. In actuality, they had only started dating about two weeks ago, but it felt like a lot longer. I tried to push aside these strange and unfamiliar feelings of annoyance and jealousy, but I was wondering why she was here? I wondered why I felt like this too, it was pretty strange. I don't think I've ever really felt like this before.

They both sat in the chairs across from me and the waiter walked over to get their orders. When he left, I looked over at them. They were sitting close together and I saw him reach over and take her hand. I flinched as it I had physically been hit and tried to look at something else, anything else that could pull my attention away.

"So, uh," I cleared my throat. "Did you get caught up at school or something?"

"Hmm?" Lovino hummed his attention still on Amelia. I felt that familiar tight squeeze in my chest again, that pain that I've been feeling for quite a while now. It's been accompanying these other strange feelings as well. He finally turned to face me, a smile playing on his lips, "Oh yeah, I'm sorry we're late. We dropped our stuff off at Amelia's house because that's where we're going when we leave."

"Oh, alright. I just-sorry, I didn't know that you were coming Amelia," I said, trying to laugh it off.

"Oh yeah, I'm so sorry. I really hope you don't mind that I tagged along," She said sweetly.

Amelia was a really sweet and nice girl. She had long, light brown hair that hung in soft curls down her back. She had kind brown eyes and a shy smile. Light freckles trailed across her cheeks and nose. I can't say that there was something I didn't like about her, but there was something I didn't like about their relationship: Lovino followed her around like a lost, lovesick puppy.

"Oh, no, no, I don't mind at all," I lied. I smiled brightly at her as she gave a small smile back. I tried not to feel annoyed or even betrayed as I sat and smiled. This was something that only Lovino and I did. We came here to the coffee house, just the two of us. I never even invite Francis or Gilbert because just spending this time with Lovino meant so much to me.

I saw Lovino turn to look at her. I saw the look in his eyes as he looked at her. His eyes lit up and shone with happiness. I can honestly say I've never seen him this happy before, but why did it have to take him finding Amelia for that to happen? I've been his friend since we were young kids. I've always been around, through the good and the bad, but I've never seen him this happy. Was I not a good enough friend? Did I do something wrong?

I guess he was just happier with Amelia. I was happy for him, I really was, but why couldn't I make him happy? Why couldn't he look at me like that?

"Hey, quit spacing out on me bastard!"

I blinked a few time and turned back to look at him, "Huh? What?"

Amelia giggled softly but Lovino just glared at me, "I was talking to you."

"Oh, hah, oops, sorry. What did you say?" I laughed nervously and rubbed the back of my neck. See? He glared at me but I've never seen him look at Amelia like that, so why was it always me?

What was I supposed to do? I rested my elbow against the desk and held my face in the palm of my hand. It had been almost six months since Lovino and Amelia started dating, a long six months. It felt like Lovino was pulling away from me, just to spend more time with Amelia, and when we did get to hang out all he would talk about was Amelia. I was still happy for him, but I could feel my happiness for him fading. Now that he was with her, it seemed that he smiled a lot more and wasn't in his usually cranky, mean moods. Which was great! It actually was, it was just the fact that, well, sometimes, I ended up missing his old attitude, or how he would yell at me, or pick on me for doing something stupid. I missed the old Lovino. Now, it seemed like he had to be with her all the time, or else he couldn't function.

The only problem I had with them being together was I felt like she was stealing him away from me. At first, I used to feel like maybe he just wanted to spend lots of time with her, but now it seemed like she was controlling his schedule so that he was always with her and he wasn't allowed to be with me at all. I guess he technically wasn't mine for her to take, but that's how it felt. Every day I would see him at school, and every day that pain in my chest would grow stronger. I knew I had to talk to him, but what would I say? Would he even listen to me? Sometimes it feels like he didn't even want to be around me anymore…

"What's wrong man? You look so down in the dumps," I heard a familiar voice say. I looked up to see my friend Gilbert standing over my desk. He had silver-white hair and deep crimson eyes. He had one of those sly crooked smiles that usually played upon his lips.

"No, I'm fine," I said dismissively, turning my head. Gilbert was silent so I turned back up to look at him. He had that look on his face and I knew he wasn't going to believe me or leave me alone.

"Bullshit. I know something's wrong." He huffed, "Come on man, do you know how weird it is seeing you without a smile? It's like me not being awesome! Not only impossible, but awkward."

I looked up at him, confused, "But I do smile-"

"But it's not real," Gilbert cut me off. "We can all see it, something's wrong, but you won't tell us. And I know it's been going on for a while, so you need to tell me now."

There was a loud echoing ring in the classroom and through the hallway. I sighed thankfully, saved by the bell. I tried to get up out of my desk but Gilbert stopped me. He gave me a stern look and I felt my lips twitch into a nervous smile. He continued to glare at me and I looked over towards the door, watching all the other students leave.

"Gil, I uh, I have to go to class."

He moved slowly to the side but continued to glare. I quickly grabbed my things and ran out into the hallway.

I sighed heavily, well now what? I mechanically made my way to my next class, not even paying attention to anything going on around me. I really needed to talk to Lovino, but where and when? He never wanted to hang out like we used to.

Since I wasn't paying attention, I couldn't hear who was calling my name until I felt someone grab my arm. I snapped out of my thoughts to look down at who was trying to stop me.

"Lovino?" I asked, feeling a bit surprised.

"Hey bastard, I called your name four times," he laughed.

"Oh, ha, oops sorry, guess I didn't hear you." I rubbed the back of my neck and looked down at the ground. My heart was beating quickly and I looked back at Lovino. Now was my chance! I could talk to him now!

"Hey, I need to ask you something," we both said at the same time. We both laughed as we both said again, "You first."

"I'll go first," Lovino said. "You've heard of the Spring Formal, right?"

I nodded quickly, "Yeah, why?" My heart continued to pound in my chest.

"Well Amelia and I are going and we were wondering if you wanted to come along, sort of like a double date thing. You do have a date, right?"

My heart sank, "Oh, well…" What did I say? I really didn't know if I wanted to go, especially if I was to go with Amelia and Lovino. I really didn't want to take anyone either because I didn't know who I would take.

"Well, I'm not really going, at least, I wasn't planning on it, so no, I don't really have a date," I said a bit sadly, looking back down at the ground.

"Well find a girl, I'm sure there are lots that would want to go with you, it'll be fun." Lovino smiled at me and I tried to smile back. I really didn't want to go and now I lost all courage to talk to him. I felt the words trapped in my throat and I didn't think I could say anything, especially after this. This sort of made my situation worse.

"You should come with us anyway." He looked over his shoulder at Amelia as she made her way down the hallway. "I'll find you after school and we can talk about this some more." He turned away and I half-heartedly lifted my hand in a small wave. "Bye," I called out softly, knowing he wouldn't hear me.

Well, there goes my chance to talk to him.

School went by slowly. At the end of the day, I made my way down to the soccer field. I had been thinking about Lovino's offer all day. I was debating on if I actually should go or not. I set my spare soccer ball down on the ground and set my backpack on one of the nearby benches. I kicked the soccer ball around a bit as the thoughts swirled around my head.

The dance was at the end of the month, so I had some time to think before making a decision, but I felt so torn. On one hand, if Lovino really wanted me to go, then this would be a great opportunity. Maybe I could even talk to him, and this would give me plenty of time to come up with what I want to say. I could get time to talk to him and tell him how I feel; how I feel like I'm being replaced, how I want us to be friends like we used to be, how I missed spending time with him…

I ended up losing my will to continue kicking the soccer ball and just stopped. I stood in the middle of the empty field by myself. I looked down at the ball; usually when I needed to think, I came out here and I would feel better, but this time it didn't seem to be working.

I sat down and held the ball in my hands. I turned it around and looked at it. I couldn't remember the last time Lovino had come down to the field to join me in a game.

What if I didn't go to the dance? Would he even notice or care? Probably not, he would be too busy focusing on Amelia and spending time with her. So what was the point in going? He would act the same even if I went, so I didn't see the point in going. It would only be a waste of time.

I could see it now, even if I went, I would be the third wheel and I would feel awkward. I didn't want to intrude on their time:

I could imagine myself being a wallflower. It would be dark, the lights would be dimmed and a slow song was playing softly in the background. I felt my heart break as I imagined it. My throat tightened and I could feel my eyes sting as tears threatened to overflow. I knew it would be best if I didn't go; I wondered if Lovino could see that? I know he asked me if I wanted to go, but does he not see how hurt I am? Was he really not paying enough attention to me where he couldn't even tell how I was feeling? He used to be able to read me like an open book, but what happened? Was he just ignoring it, was he ignoring me?

As they continued to slowly sway to the song in my imagination, I saw Amelia lay her head on Lovino's shoulder and he held her close. I saw her lift her head and they looked at each other lovingly. Lovino slowly bent down his head to gently kiss her lips.

That was it for me, the tears spilt over and I started to cry. I couldn't stop, but I was also somewhat confused. I didn't fully understand why I was crying, but I knew that I've had a lot of pent up feelings.

I felt someone's hand on my shoulder and I jumped then looked up to see Francis and Gilbert looking down at me. At first I wanted to get up and run away; I didn't want anyone to see me like this, to see me crying. Then it hit me, I just honestly didn't care. Francis and Gilbert had been my friends forever, they've seen me cry before, and so I guess it really didn't bother me too much. The thing that did bother me though was the actual fact that I didn't care anymore. I guess it was just the fact that I was so tired and upset.

"Dude, what happened to you?! Why are you crying?" Gilbert asked as he knelt beside me.

I sniffed and wiped at the tears that streamed down my face. I just shook my head; I couldn't get any words to form on my tongue.

I felt Francis wrap his arm around my shoulders, "_Mon cher_, what happened? Are you alright?"

I just shook my head again. How would I even begin to tell them what's been going on? I haven't told anyone, I've kept it all to myself. Maybe that's why I was just sitting here, bawling.

"Alright man, you're really starting to worry me, what the hell happened?" Gilbert asked anxiously. He looked at me for a second, "Does this have to do with what was upsetting you earlier?"

I didn't look up at him but kept my eyes on my soccer ball that I still held in my hands. I slowly nodded my head as I tried to stop crying. There was no need to cry, I was overreacting. Plus, I couldn't explain to them very well while I was crying, now could I?

"What happened earlier?" Francis turned to Gilbert for an answer.

"Well in class, he seemed upset about something but he wouldn't tell me," Gilbert replied.

"What's bothering you my friend?" Francis asked.

I just sat there, where did I even start? How did I even begin to put it into words?

"We can't read your mind man. You're gonna have to tell us what's wrong," Gilbert said as he tried to get me to look at him.

"Did something happen?" Francis asked.

I nodded slowly.

"At home?" Gilbert tried. I shook my head.

"Here at school?" Francis asked. I hesitated but then nodded.

"Is there something bothering you that you want to talk about? Do I need to kick some ass?" Gilbert said angrily.

"No!" I blurted out quickly. They were a bit surprised by my quick response. "I just—well, it's…"

"It's what?" they asked curiously.

"It's Lovino," I whispered. I closed my eyes and bowed my head, taking a deep breath.

"I knew it! I told you!" Gilbert proclaimed loudly. I looked up at them as I saw Gilbert looking at Francis with an "I-told-you-so" look on his face.

"What?" I asked, confused.

Gilbert and Francis shared a look then Francis sighed, "We both have noticed how upset you've been lately and we've been trying to figure it out since you haven't really talked to us about it."

"I came up with the idea that it was somebody bothering you, but I knew it wasn't us because we're too awesome, well, Francis isn't as awesome as me, but-" Gilbert started.

Francis butted in, "_We_ agreed that it was probably Lovino because we've noticed that you haven't been hanging out with him as much. We know you still go to that café as well, but he doesn't ever come along anymore, does he?"

I looked down at the ground sadly and shook my head, "No, he's too busy with Amelia…"

"Oh," they said together, "So this has to do with Amelia." It sounded more like a statement instead of a question.

I nodded, "Well, sort of." We were all silent and I looked back up at them. They were giving me an expectant look. "What?"

"Well are you going to tell us more?" Francis asked.

"Do you like Amelia as well? Is that what's going on?" Gilbert asked incredulously.

"What? No, of course not!" I proclaimed. "I mean, she's a pretty girl and everything, but I don't-"

"Then what is it dude?"Gilbert asked again.

"Well, I, um," I stuttered. What did I tell them? How do I explain my feelings? But how do I explain feelings that I didn't even understand?

"I just hate the fact that she's stealing him away from me. I miss my best friend, I miss handing out with him, and I miss him teasing and yelling at me; I miss the old Lovino. I wish he would get his head out of the clouds and realize that he's not himself any more. I don't understand what's so great about Amelia. Yeah, she's a nice girl and everything, but what does she have that I don't? Why can she make him smile and I can't? Why did she have to come and replace me? Am I not good enough anymore? Did I do something wrong? I just don't understand how he could just drop me like this. I don't know where I went wrong. How can I fix it? I can't talk to him, because I don't know what to say. Half the time I don't even know how I actually feel about this whole thing, about anything!" I took a deep breath as I finished my rant. I had no idea where any of that came from, but I guess it was all out there now. And it sort of felt good, like I had gotten it off my chest.

"Oh, so you have finally now realized that you have feelings for Lovino, correct?" Francis asked.

"No, I-!" I stopped myself. I couldn't answer that because truthfully I didn't know. My friends noticed my hesitation and looked at me. I tried not to meet their eyes as I tried to figure out what to say. Was it true? Did I actually have feelings for Lovino? I honestly couldn't tell. I felt like he was my best friend; that he meant more to me than anything else, but what did that mean? Didn't that just mean that he meant a lot to me as my friend? That would explain why I felt so bad that Amelia had stolen him.

"Dude, the way you just said that definitely made it sound like you like Lovino," Gilbert said.

Did it? Maybe I actually did… That would explain a lot of things. That would explain why I felt so jealous and left behind. Why it hurt so much to see them together. Why I would get tongue-tied around Lovino. Why I broke down in tears at the thought of them together at the dance, and it definitely explained why I wished that it was me.

"Maybe, maybe I do," I said quietly. I tried to let the realization sink in, but it really only seemed to hurt more. I didn't understand, why did it hurt worse?

"So you're finally owning up to it?' Gilbert smirked.

I looked up, puzzled, "What do you mean?"

"We've known all along that you liked Lovino. We've just never said anything until we knew that you had finally figured it out." Gilbert leaned back and laid down on the grass, putting his hands behind his head.

"You- you guys knew?" This made no sense. How had they figured it out before I had?

"Antonio, you may not realize it because you can be so oblivious sometimes, but you are very obvious. A blind man could see that you were head over heels for Lovino. We're just glad that you've finally come to your senses about it," Francis said as he laid a hand on Antonio's shoulder.

"How can I be oblivious to my own feelings? I still don't even know if I actually do have feelings for Lovino, I was just saying it was a possibility," I said. This was confusing. I put my elbows on my knees and used the palm of my hand to support my head. I don't think I could process all this right now, I think I needed a minute.

"You're oblivious to a lot of things," Gilbert laughed.

"What do you mean?" I asked, turning to look at him.

The look he gave me was like a did-you-really-just-ask-me-that look. I turned back, never mind, I guess I was oblivious.

"You should tell him how you feel," Francis said calling me back to attention.

"How?" I asked. "How do I tell him how I feel if I don't even know how I actually feel?"

"You told us, didn't you? Just tell him what you told us," Francis stated.

I looked down at the ground. Well I could, but I have no idea how he would react. What if he wouldn't want to talk to me anymore? What if he just yelled at me and said that I was just trying to break him and Amelia up? What if he ended up hating me? All these things began running through my mind. I looked up at Francis with a helpless feeling. He must have seen all the doubt and uncertainty in my eyes because he put his arm around my shoulder and looked into my eyes.

"_Antoine_, you can't worry about it too much or else you'll make yourself sick with worry. You just have to believe in yourself and then everything will fall into place," Francis assured me.

I was really nervous as I drove to Lovino's house. I was on my way to meet him at his house and my heart was beating like crazy. Francis and Gilbert had told me that maybe I could use this as an opportunity to talk to Lovino. Maybe not necessarily tell him how I feel, but to at least talk to him. I debated on what I would actually say to him as I drove. They had a point that it would be a great time to talk to him, but would it be my only time? If I didn't get to talk to him much anymore, how was I supposed to tell him how I felt? But then again, I didn't want to ruin the night for him, I could probably get the chance to talk to him again some other time. The more I thought about it, the stronger this feeling in my gut got. I had a bad feeling about saying anything, I felt like maybe I should just keep my thoughts to myself. What if I ended up saying something stupid and Lovino ended up hating me? I would rather not have anything happen, so I guess I could just not say anything and let him enjoy the night.

I pulled up to his house and got out, walking up the front steps of his house. I adjusted my red tie and black suit jacket. I hoped I looked fine because I honestly was having mixed feelings about being here and going to the dance. Francis and Gilbert had convinced me to go and try and talk to Lovino, but I was doubtful. I knew that he would want to spend most of the time with Amelia. If that happened, what would I do? Gilbert and Francis were going, but they had their own dates. They had tried to get me a date, but I just wasn't into it and I didn't want to ruin the night for whatever girl they chose for me. I was content with just going with Lovino even if he would be spending most of the night with Amelia.

I knocked on the door and waited for someone to answer the door. Two seconds later Feliciano opened the door, smiling brightly.

"Ve~ Antonio! You look _molto bello_," he said to me.

"_Gracias_, so do you," I said. Feliciano was wearing a black suit with a deep green dress shirt and an untied black tie. He invited me in and I walked into their sitting room.

"Is he almost ready?" I asked a bit nervously.

"Yeah, he'll be done in a bit," Feliciano said. "So are you excited Antonio? Who are you meeting there?"

I gave a half-hearted laugh, "Well actually, I'm not really meeting anyone there. I'm just riding with you guys."

"Why not? I thought you would have asked Bella to go with you or something. You know she really likes you right?" Feliciano was standing in front of a small mirror fixing his hair and tying and straightening his tie.

I had noticed, she wasn't very subtle when it came to her affection, but the problem was I just wasn't into her… I still had feelings for Lovino. I felt bad, but that only got worse as I realized that I was going with Lovino, but he was still with Amelia. I knew that I couldn't say anything tonight; it just wouldn't be the best time. I shook my head to clear my mind. I didn't want to be sad, I didn't want to ruin the night for everyone else, so I just had to suck it up or push it aside.

"Are you alright?"

I looked up as I saw Lovino looking at me. I quickly smiled as I turned to look at him, "Of course! I'm so excited for tonight! You look _muy quapo_ Lovino!" He was wearing a black suit with a white dress shirt. A bright, shimmering blue tie added a splash of color to his outfit.

"Of course I do," he said, taking pride in his good looks, as usual.

"So, are you ready to go?" Feliciano asked. The plan was for Ludwig to come pick them all up and they would all ride to the dance together. "Ludwig just texted me and said he's on his way."

"Oh, that reminds me, there's been a change in plans. I'm not riding with you guys. I decided that I was going to go pick Amelia up and we can just meet you at the dance or something." Lovino checked himself in the mirror as he stood beside his brother. He smiled as he went to grab his car keys.

"Wait, what?" Feliciano and I said simultaneously. Since when was this the plan and when was he going to tell us?

"Yeah, sorry, guess I forgot to tell you earlier. Well, I'll see you there, _Ciao_!" And with that, Lovino left me and Feliciano alone and confused in the living room.

"Oh, well I guess it'll just be us riding with Ludwig to the dance," Feliciano said cheerfully as he just shrugged off what just happened.

I tried to copy his smile, but I was thrown off and upset that I wouldn't even be able to ride with him to the dance.

The ride to the dance was pretty uneventful. I just sat in the backseat and just stared out the window, totally drowned in my own thoughts as Feliciano's voice became background noise. We pulled into the parking lot of the huge reception hall that had been reserved just for the dance. The whole ride here my mind had been preoccupied as I thought about Lovino.

"Hey guys!"

Feliciano, Ludwig, and I all turned around to see Lovino and Amelia walking towards us. He was walking hand in hand with Amelia who looked really pretty. Her long brown hair was in elegant curls and she had some pinned up with a huge flower clip. The flower was made of blue jewels of all different shades. Her dress was blue as well that fit her body perfectly and shimmered, just like Lovino's tie.

"Ve~ Wow Amelia, you look so pretty!" Feliciano marveled.

She blushed slightly and clung onto Lovino. "Thank you," she said shyly.

We all made our way to the front door and went inside. We made our way down the short hallway to the main room. The room was dark but bright, flashing lights pulsated to the jumpy beat of the music. Decorations and balloons adorned the walls and high ceiling. The place was already filling up with people and I saw a lot of my friends having a great time. Feliciano grabbed Ludwig's hand and dragged him towards the dance floor. Amelia and Lovino ended up leaving me for the dance floor as well, leaving me all alone and standing there awkwardly.

I made my way over to a small group of students that were huddled by the wall. I kind of recognized them as the quiet kids. They didn't really pay any attention to me and I didn't pay much attention to them. I just leaned against the wall as I looked out towards the huge group of kids dancing to the music. I spotted Lovino and Amelia, laughing and smiling, having a great time.

I sighed sadly. I saw the way they looked at each other, the way that they acted towards each other. I could do that; I could do whatever he wanted. And I tried to do whatever I could to please him; what more could I do?

I love him.

I truly love him and I was hurting at the fact that I couldn't have him.

I wish I could go back in time, maybe if I could, things would be different.

No, I know they would. Because if I could go back in time, I would tell him that I loved him and then he wouldn't be with Amelia, he would be mine. I long to tell him those three little words that meant so much to me. I longed to tell him just how important he was to me.

"What the heck are you doing over here man?"

I snapped back to attention and looked up to see Gilbert and Francis standing in front of me. Gilbert had a drink in his hand which was either spiked punch or straight beer he snuck in. From the smell of his breath, I was going to go with the beer option.

"_Oui_, come join us! It's not like you to just sit out a party," Francis said.

It was true, I usually loved going to parties and dances because I loved to be surrounded by people and feeling the life of the party flow through me, but now, I really just wanted to leave. I really wasn't feeling into the whole party-dance feeling.

"C'mon, C'mon," they said as they tried to get me to join everyone. At first I refused, but they didn't take no for an answer. Gil grabbed one of my arms and Francis the other. They dragged me along and out onto the dance floor.

"Guys, I really don't think- Oh!" They threw me forward and I had to stop myself from crashing into people and falling. The music was really loud and everyone was dancing close together. I couldn't just leave because Francis and Gilbert kept a hold on me. It felt awkward to just be standing there and doing nothing, so I just kind of let the music move me. It took awhile for me to really get my mind on the dance.

For awhile, I was actually having fun and dancing with everyone. It was pretty funny how we all seemed to have the same idea when it came to dancing. I thought it was hilarious that Gilbert's drink never seemed to leave his hand and what astounded me the most was that he never even spilt one drop of his drink at all. I was dancing the same way and if I had a drink in my hand, there would be no more drink in the cup, it would be either all over the floor or us.

The music began to slow down and the lights dimmed for a more romantic feel. I had immediately left the group we were all in and pulled back towards the wall I had been leaning against previously. I didn't have anyone to dance with and I didn't want to just be there by myself.

A soft song began to play slowly. I froze and my heart stopped. I instantly went back to the day I went out on the empty soccer field alone. My feelings crashed over me like a wave as I remembered the scene that had flashed in my head. The same exact song was playing and the lights were dim. I felt like I couldn't control my body and I slowly turned around. I knew exactly what I would see if I turned around and that's exactly why I didn't want to look. I tried to convince myself that I should just walk away, but then I saw it and my heart sank.

Lovino was holding Amelia close as they slowly swayed to the song. She had her head leaning against his chest and their fingers were intertwined. I felt a lump in my throat and my chest started to ache. I wished I could just turn and look away.

I saw Lovino bring his hand up to Amelia's chin to lean her face up so that their eyes met. I saw them exchange loving whispers and they closed their eyes as they leaned in closer. I felt my eyes sting again but I gritted my teeth and blinked the tears away. Their lips met and my heart broke. That was it, I couldn't handle it anymore. I had to get away.

I was able to tear my gaze away from them as I began to head towards the back door. Everybody was pretty busy dancing and paying attention to their partners to really pay any mind to me. I opened up the door and slipped out into a long hallway. It was quiet and empty. I clenched my teeth as I looked around for a way to get out of here. I wandered down the hallway until I found a door that led outside. I had never been here before so I had no idea where I was going, all I knew was that I had to get away.

I ran outside to a small garden with lights braided all through the bushes. A small stone fountain stood in the middle of a circular cobblestone path. Two stone benches were placed around the path and I plopped down on one of them. I held my head in my hands and forced myself to keep it together.

I looked up at the dark sky. The moon was barely a crescent and the stars twinkled brightly. They became blurry and I wiped away tears.

An image of Lovino standing out here with me began to appear in my mind. He was standing out here with me under the moonlight and stars. I was holding him close and looking into his hazel eyes. Just before I was able to tell him how I really felt, the image disappeared. I was left alone in the garden again. I wish I was able to tell him how I feel. I wish I was the one that he wanted to be with; the one who he wanted to be with all the time. Who he wanted to talk to, who he wanted to hold close. Who he wanted to call late just to say goodnight. The one who he wanted to tell "I love you".

I took a deep breath to steady myself, but it sounded shaky. I couldn't do this.

I tried to clear my mind and took another breath. This time it was steady and I wiped away the tears that had tried to escape down my cheek. I stood up and fixed my suit and tie. I made my way back into the reception hall. I had to find the front door that I had come through.

Once I found it, I looked around. A light breeze tousled my brown hair and tugged at my suit jacket, almost as if it were pulling me somewhere. I began to move with the wind and I knew exactly where I was going.

I continued to walk, the wind guiding me along; it was a pretty long walk home from here.

* * *

**A/N: **So here it is. I hope you enjoyed it. I had this song stuck in my head for the longest time so I figured writing a fanfic for it would solve my problem. I chose Spamano because not only is it my OTP, but I feel like they fit. I honestly feel like nothing can really bring Spain down, he's usually always so cheerful and happy, but the only thing that can really break him down is Romano. Anyway, thanks for reading, this literally took me forever to type up (because I'm lazy and I didn't feel like doing it). Reviews are loved! :)


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